The Dark Days

During your recovery, you will have dark days. On the dark days, it is only your little child or wounded adult finally trying to release the fear, sadness and anger. We weren’t able to express ourselves freely, so we learned to bury the feelings. 

Now as survivors, we owe it to ourselves to release that pain in a safe and protected place.

On these days, you will feel sick and tired of the whole thing and want it to go away. There may be a pervading sense of gloom and stagnation. It is part of the healing process and does not mean you have lost your way. Be patient and kind to yourself.

Typically, you can wake up and feel this way first thing in the morning. Perhaps you had an upsetting dream, or you are feeling tired and vulnerable. Frequently, a sad event in your life can trigger your own deeper sadness. Women will sometimes be more sensitive around their cycle and if there has been physical abuse this can be a heightened time for these issues to surface. Regardless of the trigger, you can be assured that it is perfectly normal and part of the healing.

Relationship problems are also a powerful trigger for survivors of abuse. This is especially true in your relationships because they can alert you to an area you may need to address. Be aware how finely your past can be tied in with your life today. On these dark days, don’t expect to be on top of the world. 

Just remember, the emotions that you are experiencing are probably more to do with the past, than the present.

Once I acknowledged where these awful emotions came from, I could accept them.

Let the feelings surface and allow the tears to flow. Given time, these days will lessen and be easier to cope with. Now I see what is happening and allow the day to unfold. Initially, I thought I was going backwards and not coping, whereas now I understand. The dark days are part of my deeper healing.

If these days start to become weeks or months, you should probably get professional help. Make sure you address the problem and don’t bury it out of sight. Reach out and get help.