Getting Help 

Many doctors are very aware of the devastation caused by abuse. If you have a good doctor, then talk to him/her about getting help. If you are feeling depressed or suicidal, consider what you need to do in consultation with your doctor. Some doctors will want to put you on medication; however, make the choices that are best for you. If necessary visit your doctor regularly and be honest about how you are really coping.

During recovery, you can enlist a good counselor as there will be so much going on in your head. A skilled counselor can help you work on the most important issues and gradually access other more hidden areas. Facing the abuse is a scary process, and by and large, we don’t want to do it alone.

Usually, there will be an outpouring of emotion, so just let the tears and anger release. Letting go of these emotions can allow the trapped memories from the past to flow out. 

Remember that we were frozen with fear and until we release that part of us, we can’t get to see what is behind it.

A professional can support this process and give you another perspective as well. Various groups exist for victims of abuse, and they can be helpful to you. Sometimes these groups can be powerful and inspirational. Other groups can be filled with victims wanting to wallow. You may need to go for a while to release some of your feelings. Nevertheless, if you come home and feel drained, think about whether this is a positive avenue of healing for you.

Be aware that not everyone wants to heal and get their life together.

Hypnosis can be another way to access the past and hence aid in recovery. There have been some negative responses to hypnosis in the media, and some people are suspicious, so you need to make up your own mind. My opinion is that if you feel that there has been abuse, you need to explore the past for signs. Maybe hypnosis can help you to access those memories.

Genuine memories will generally have a feeling of familiarity, and you will know they happened. You may already remember parts of the fights, the screaming, the beatings and alcohol abuse. Your new memories may help you make sense of it. I found that coupled with these memories were some very strong emotions.

Rebirthing is another way to access information. It is a gentle, yet powerful, way to remember the past. A good rebirthing therapist will take you through the process carefully. You can gain an enormous amount of healing and information in just a single session. It can be an excellent way to go back to the past to collect the information that you need.

Massage and healing can also help. People have reported experiencing many emotions during a massage and recalling events from the abuse. There is a belief that the muscles hold the memories from the past and by releasing the tension, these feelings are also released. Survivors can struggle with the area of touch. Therefore, learning that touch can be safe and non­threatening is a giant step forward for these people.

Another new and exciting release method called Emotional Freedom Tapping is a great avenue for release work. It is used to let go of many anxieties, emotional blockages and accompanying health issues, which can arise from emotional and mental stress. After you learn the simple meridian tapping sequence you can use it whenever the need arises. Tapping works on releasing blockages from the meridians throughout our bodies. Having used it over the last few years I can attest to its effectiveness in lessening many problems. There are many sites on the internet with useful information if you wish to explore this modality.

During this time be aware that not everyone will support you as expected. People often struggle with any type of abuse due to their issues or blocks. Do what is best for you and use the modality that works for your healing. I suggest you quietly explore avenues that suit you and only share this with those who support you.

When I was trying to retrieve more memories using rebirthing and massage, a friend told me that she believed that I was experiencing false memories. I found this counter­productive to my recovery, so I chose not to share my experiences with her from that time on.

If we want to recover we can’t surround ourselves with people who don’t believe us. We spent our past surrounded with people who, given the chance, did not believe us, but now we can choose who enters our inner world.